Man with a Big Heart

No matter how big your problem is right now, surely there is Someone out there who wishes He could wipe away those burdens in your heart.

Everyday is a battle that we should strongly fight. Life is always accompanied with pains and pleasures. But we must overcome these experiences, because God never fails to guide us all the way. Soon enough, it'll be worth it.

       Years ago, I'm living my life without a goal. A life without purpose. I always blame God for the bad things that seems to drown me. I always end up crying inside my room and I have to asked God, "Why me?" School days became so stressful. Friends seems to be out of reach. I have no one to talk to. After school, my parents and my siblings who have been busy for such a tired day finds some time to bond with each other but for some reasons I don't belong at all. Ugh, "What's wrong with me? Why is everything so wrong?" I always wonder that in mind. Is it God that I should blame for the bad things that I experience in life? Or is it me because I always view life negatively? And then, I've realized....yes! I am pessimistic and that shouldn't be in that way. 


     I started to view life positively as much as I could. Yes, there may be problems that seems to drown you in miseries along the way but still God wouldn't allow you to experience those for the sake of just hurting but for learning something. With God's love that I instilled everyday in my heart, I overcome the difficulties during my freshman year in College. I'd overcome those things I thought I could never do. Overcome small things. Then, later on, overcome big things. Truly, God is really amazing. And now, shocking news crushed my world. When, I've found out I have something I never known long before. I'm a 19 year old simple college girl who has a simple dream. It was early this year, when I've found out that I have a heart disease. It was like as quick as lightning when I heard the Doctor confirmed it. Suddenly, my tears are overflowing and I just can't stop myself from crying silently. There, I found myself again lying in my bed that night asking God again the same question, "Why me? Why is it me again oh Lord? Am I the trouble catcher of this world? Why is everything so messed up? Why?" and there goes the unending "Why me?" line of mine. I've tried to reach out with my friends and contact them but no one replied for my text and I was so downcast. I felt so unimportant. No one even bothered to ask what wrong I've thought to myself until one friend replied. She gave me encouraging words that I really needed. The next day, it was a sunny Monday when I thought that no one would care. But I was wrong, my friends came into my side and talk about my problem. And it was like all the burdens I've been carrying have been burned out. I was wrong when I assumed they would never care because they do. And truly, I am thankful to God because he gave me friends when I needed them most. I am thankful to God because he provides all my needs. I may not have luxurious things that this world tries to offer but I have the most caring family ever. I have my crazy and funny circle of friends. And I am thankful to God because he sustains what I needed for a day.


I may not have the grand riches in the world, but I am blessed with God's love. Now I've realized what those hardships are meant for. Truly, life is a big roller coaster that will give us ups and downs with unexpected twists but in every loop we seem to experience in life, God will provide us all we need. God is our great provider. Our pain killer. I may not know what's the reason behind this sickness yet, but I'm hoping that the Lord will enlighten me soon. For now, I'm not considering this as a hindrance for me to live my life the way I want it to be. My heart is weak, but His is strong. I'm just a plain girl who wishes that one day, all people will love each other with no hate at all, a life with people who only wishes they could scatter warmth of comfort and love instead of war. LOVE LIFE. LIVE LIFE and LOVE GOD.